I Stayed Awake Last Night

 I stayed awake last night

By Rina Shamilov

because my bones rattled under the covers

flapping into the edges of my ribs

my face

was as cold as the brass frying pan

with droplets of 

oil lacing down the middle

of the wet pan,

& splattering into my eyes 

I tried doing yoga in the bedroom

& studying my fingers 

under the damp light of the morning—

or what was itching out of the clouds—

concealing the faces

of my Russian dolls

with linen memories

it’s only 5 o’clock.

everyone must be asleep, it’s still their

evening:

purple vermillion, sticking out like 

Mama’s varicose veins;

until hours later

when Papa wakes for his bathroom morning 

ritual

then peeking in my room, he finds me

on the floor in a trance

you’ve never been awake this early