the alphabet of your name

 I walked through the foggy roots of the old city & we were laughing

as we sailed through the wind, my toes were sweat-drenched 

but your smile spread across your face like a swooping curtain

we passed the graves, conjuring our grandfathers

in the empty plots we laid on

until I recognized your body as the last I'd ever see

your shadow chased the moon as I chased the light 

dirtying my feet along the north gates of the cemetery

your lips tasted like their dust

& your voice hollowed out in your esophagus like the sweet 

resounding of my grandfather's last breaths

but how was I to ever know that I would kiss death on the lips

one last time on my birthday?

the last I'd ever hold of your soft body

the last of your limbs dancing around mine

don't you remember the moments we left in the forest? touching the branches to 

our knees and disjointedly laughing over the land we felt forever on,

or rocking your legs over mine outside my college dorm?

your eyes were always as kind as the evening,

twinkling like the scar above your left brow 

we used to trace the stars with our fingers

but mine grow colder without you; my hands have nothing to hold

& my teeth shake as I sob your name into my pillow,

drooling  the alphabet of your name